INBOX. seasonsrpg

[erschlagen]

“Only call me if you need me!
If not, then PISS OFF before I get angry!”

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[erschlagen]

[Being alone in his thoughts was probably the worst decision Rosen could’ve made after that whole fiasco. The mind loves to play tricks on people, and he is no different. His thoughts are dark and gloomy filled with self-doubt and self-hate. He hates himself for being this weak, for this distraught by Saya’s death. Rosen was supposed to be the one to end her life, not Yuri. That is the promise he made her, the promise he failed to fulfill because of his love for her. Rosen loves Saya more than words could ever express, but his love for her is a weakness. It’s with this in mind that Rosen finds himself at an awkward crossroads.

Should he keep loving Saya despite this weakness, or should he prioritize his strength and end things before this weakness worsens? This is the question that plagues his mind as he lingers within this dark apartment. He hasn’t been outside in days, unwilling to face the scores of people who loved Saya dearly. While Rosen realizes he’s not alone in his grief, it’s difficult for him to share this grief with others. He would much rather be alone, or so he claims.

That’s not entirely true, though. Especially since he still has Ciaran with him. The large black dog was curled up on his side when it heard the knock at the door. Ciaran lets out a quiet bark before glancing at Rosen. The dog lets out a noisy whine as it hops off the sofa, making a beeline for the door. Ciaran lets out another bark when Hijikata announces himself, almost inviting the man inside but it’s Rosen who finally wakes up from his drunken stupor to open the door.]

Oh, it’s....you.

[A breathy chuckle escapes Rosen once he realizes who it was. It’s been a while since he last seen Hijikata. Since that whole memory-sharing bullshit, Rosen been making himself scarce. He doesn’t like having his memories or feelings on display. It’s embarrassing for him, especially since he often prided himself on shutting such emotions out. However, it seems he’s not as different as everyone else. Immortal or not, Rosen still feels pain and still bleeds.]

[mayoninofukucho]

[If Hijikata knew exactly what's going through Rosen's mind, he'd have some words for him - not of advice, just of commiseration. Love is goddamn complicated, and it seems to him like whether one embraces it or rejects it, neither is entirely the right choice.

When Rosen opens the door he puts on a faint smile (and pets Ciaran after letting him sniff him - he gets along well with dogs, generally; he kind of is one too after all, partly, sometimes).]

Yeah. I wanted to see how you're holding up. How come you're here and not at the Flower Yard?

[He'd have expected Rosen there, waiting under Saya's larger-than-life rose. But he's far from reproaching him. Witnessing her death - or bringing it about; he doesn't know the details - can't have been an easy thing to stomach at all, if the Saya doppelgänger he encountered and immolated/beheaded alongside the real Saya is any indication.]

[erschlagen]

[To say the least, Rosen looks like hell. His long white hair is a tangled mess, and he has dark bags under his eyes after a few too many sleepless nights. The man is a drunken mess with alcohol on his breath. After drowning over four bottles of whisky, it’s a miracle he can stay upright. Then again, he’s Irish. He can handle just about anything except this.

On the contrary, his dog seems to be in good spirits. Ciaran sniffs Hijikata briefly before suddenly nuzzling his head against the man’s leg. Poor Ciaran has no idea what’s happening right now, but the extra company is welcoming. Rosen hasn’t been himself lately, and his faithful hound has noticed, judging from its worried whine.]

Cause I don’t want to fuckin’ go there.

[Rosen grumbles with a huff as he steps away from the door. Whether or not Hijikata enters is up to him. He doesn’t care either way.]

I don’t wanna do anything right now, especially not with those folks.

[He flops back onto the sofa with a sigh before kicking a discarded bottle off the cushions. It’s a bit of a mess in here. There are scattered whiskey bottles all over the living room, including a few cans of beer. It seems Rosen was trying to drink himself into a coma earlier. That’s no good.]

Those are Saya’s people, not mine.

[mayoninofukucho]

[The dismal state of both Rosen and his apartment answers Hijikata's initial question of how he's holding up: Piss-poorly. And who could fault him? He ruffles Ciaran's fur on his head as he steps inside and closes the door behind him, playing with his ears a little. Good boy.

He quietly listens to what Rosen says. Honestly, he didn't really think about how well Rosen would know the others - Saya's husband, her other lovers, her friends, those who have literally been through hell with her. Apparently he feels a rift that prevents him from joining them as they wait for her rebirth. That's alright, as far as Hijikata is concerned... unless something specific happened before, during, or after the experiment to prompt that feeling from Rosen.]

You don't know them well either?

[He knows some names and faces - Kantera, Yuri, Venti, many more he can't quite recall ad hoc, surely some people he does know who may or may not have been involved in the extensive preparations -, but out of her inner circle he's only spoken to Venti (and Rosen himself, of course).]

...

What happened? You don't have to tell me, but if you want to...

[If he can understand at least roughly what occurred, he may find some words of confidence, maybe.]

[erschlagen]

I know ‘em. [Rosen answers after letting out a loud yawn.] But that doesn’t mean I like ‘em all.

[He’s speaking from a place of hurt right now, so his words can’t be trusted. Rosen feels terrible about what happened to Saya, but worst of all, he blames himself for it. The man also blames some of her know-it-all friends. He really thought that if all of them tried together, they could’ve saved Saya from such a brutal end. Sadly, nothing ever seems to go as planned, and now he has to live with the horrific image of his beloved queen being decapitated by the one man he trusts.]

Just sittin’ around waiting isn’t my style. If I’m gonna sulk, I rather do it at home.

[He mutters while trying to find another bottle of whiskey among the pile. His flippant demeanor is a little off-putting, but Hijikata knows him well enough to see past it. Rosen is pretending not to care because he doesn’t want to feel anything anymore. He doesn’t want to feel any of the sorrow or sadness deeply rooted within his heart.

He just wants to forget, and sadly, he doesn’t have enough booze for that.]

[mayoninofukucho]

[Since Hijikata doesn't know most of the others well either he's a somewhat neutral party here and makes no attempt to protest Rosen's words - even if he wanted to, now probably wouldn't be the best time to try and change his mind. That being said, he isn't put off by Rosen's behaviour. Him being a bit dismissive and abrasive is definitely easier for him to handle than if he were either in total despair or in a "burn the wold down" mood.

He decides not to press him about what happened any further. The researchers were only willing to inform him that Saya "sadly passed away" during the experiment - which, going by the state of the room he managed to glance into as it was being cleaned of what looked to be blood splatter and (probably unsalvageable) burn damage, presumably didn't exactly do the event that unfolded there justice.]

How about we sulk at the beach instead? No one else is going to be there at this hour.

[It wouldn't make Rosen feel better, but at least he'd be breathing some clean air. A confined space does no good to a mind that's already wandering in spirals (and Hijikata knows all too well how much of a hypocrite he's being, because he would be all too likely to shut himself away in the same manner as Rosen if he were in his position, but hell, he promised Saya to look after him if anything happened to her - and he plainly cares about him, too).]